Faith means leaving your eyes behind…

The House

“My family has locked themselves out of the house, and me in it.”
This statement is truly relevant for me, as I type, my mother and sister wait outside for a second set of house keys to be brought to them. Also, I am hardly upset because of this, I have been secretly munching on all the good food. I have finished half a doughnut and a little bit of the best chicken in all the world. Still, let us see how this statement may mean something to us in a different way. Perhaps, I should replace some of the words or add more.

“My family and friends are locked out of this house, and I am in it.”
I am quite sure everyone goes through a time were they feel imprisoned by their thoughts and fears. They reach a place where no one understands them. Friends, family, boyfriends/girlfriends, husbands/wives, does not matter who, they cannot help you or understand you completely. You feel truly alone.
Anger builds up because you think people judge you or because they do not have a clue about what you are going through. Jealousy builds up because you feel like you are going through the worst storm and everyone else has problems that barely touch the bottom of the huge pile laying in front of you. Sorrow builds up in self pity and because no one really comforts you.
Do you feel your heart actually aching?
Mine feels like a ringing ache. It comes from time to time and makes me want to scream and cry.
There’s an emptiness, a pain, a loneliness, a sorrow…
People ask you questions involving how you feel. If you answer with “Great!,” they are pleased. If you answer with “Terrible,” they make you feel like you should be sorry for feeling bad for yourself.
Then of course, them just asking that question is agonizing. Them having to leave before you can answer it, is worse.
(I am not blaming you, or accusing you of anything)
This is just how you feel when you find yourself trapped in “the house.”

Some of us do not feel the need for an “Emergency Exit.” Others do, and thus the way for them consist of no sunlight ever. They are gone, and punished for their stupid mistake. For those of us, fighting to get through a storm that has lasted a long time:

Remember, the night may be dark but the mornings are absolutely breathtaking.

The sun has not really gone, it is simply hidden behind a bunch of clouds. Remembering that, clouds move. They will not always sit there, blocking the view of the sun. Sooner or later, the sun will find itself shining brilliantly and perhaps, brighter than it did before.

Hope with me, please?
We’re going to make it.
When we do, we’ll be stronger and happier.
Just wait a while, you’ll get out.
They’ll find the keys.

Love,
Joy.
Envision That Horizon.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”- Philippians 2:3-4

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One response

  1. Naomi

    This kinda reminded me of the song “Be my Escape” by Relient K…sorta same but different.

    ditto w/ the “how are you?” question. That always drove me crazy. 😉

    September 20, 2009 at 2:13 am

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