Today, I stared down at my toes. I did not feel very good. God, I am so messed up. I make mistakes I should never make. I make selfish choices. I closed my eyes, and let my mind open drawers of memories from the last few months. Have I been a loving person? No!
How did all this happen?
Why am I in this situation?
Where have I brought myself?
A perfect example of why I should never, ever steer my own life. Look where I have brought myself.
Today I broke my best friend’s heart for the hundredth time. Why does he even want to be around me? Why does he not just leave and find himself a girl that will take care of his beautiful heart?
I cannot explain anything. All I know, is that I should not be here, I should be somewhere and someone far from right now.
So I pray.
Dear God, I am so helpless right now. I need your strength. Give me your strength and your beauty and your love. Please, just fill me with your wondrous love. Fill me to the top so that it overflows. Your love reminds me that I am your daughter and you will always be there for me to turn to. It makes difficult situations easier to tackle. It makes shelter during the storm. Please, help me. I love you.