Faith means leaving your eyes behind…

The Dirt Under Your Fingernails

I see myself lying pathetically at the bottom of a dirt hill. I raise my head sleepily. My arms still half under my limp body, I begin to scratch at the dirt at the base of the hill. I scratch frantically, making myself look even more pathetic as the dirt gathers under my fingernails.

I have a problem.
I lie.
I lie to myself, my friends, my co-workers, my aunts, my parents, even my closest friends. Sometimes it’s just an exaggerated story, sometimes it’s a simple “I’m okay”, sometimes it is blatant and malicious. But it’s all the same because it’s all sin.

You know what the worst part is? It hurts me and I know it. . .but I keep doing it. I make everything bigger, badder, and harder . . .but I keep doing it. I have only recently decided to stop within this past week. It has taken me almost 18 years to stop doing something I knew was stupid from the beginning. How sad is that? But I am going to quit and I will overcome.

How often do we make something a bigger deal than it really is? How often do we let our bad attitudes shape our circumstances? Lie to ourselves and turn little dirt hills into impossible mountains?

“Dirt under your fingernails does not equal hard labor.”

Rise up! Isn’t walking through fire, letting life refine you, and doing impossibly hard things supposed to be the amazing, cool, inspiring and exciting things we all gape at? Books and movies are not made out of petty, whiny characters who refuse to get their lives together and conquer their problems, big or small.

And after all it’s just a pile of dirt.

Peace be with you,
-naomii

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